Deepest Wish Trilogy
by monkan
Summary: Three one-shot stories that tell the tale of InuYasha and Sesshoumaru's impossible love for each other, and their honour. Contains: Deepest Wish, Years of Regrets, and Taking the Shame to the Grave. Inucest. Sesshoumaru x InuYasha. Don't Like? Don't Read. Complete.
1. Deepest Wish

Author Note: Another old story, written long ago, posted elsewhere. Still mine. Three one-shot stories under one name. Enjoy.

Warning: Incest. Yaoi.

Pairing: Sesshoumaru x InuYasha.

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha or Sesshoumaru.

Read, Enjoy and Review. Any words of happiness, love, joy and constructive criticism are welcomed. Flames will be ignored and thrown away.

Deepest Wish

By Monkan

The rustling leaves of the trees was soothing and the slightly cold air felt good against his warm skin. The setting sun was leaving behind a charade of colors that played across the sky. The area around the sun even seemed to burn with the blazing flames of a fire. If he stared long enough it felt like he was watching the sun die just to leave place for the pale moon. A stray wind dragged past him and along with it a smell that he recognized all to well.

He knew who was coming closer but he made no move to leave like he always did. He didn't feel like moving right now and leave this fantastic display of nature. Just like he enjoyed watching snow falling over his lands and the stars in the pitch black night sky, he really liked to see the sun set and rise. These natural occurrences of nature was a treasure that few no longer noticed. Someday when even he was gone would others still remember to look up at the glistering spots that shines like jewels in the night. Would they look at the sky and see a falling star burn out. Would they even take time to think about what nature had to offer?

It wasn't that he cared much about who watched these treasures, even if it was an useless human or a youkai he didn't want these treasure to be forgotten. But even if his heart felt at peace watching the sun set there was still something that made it run wild and treacherous.

A figure came out from the forest and into the tiny clearing. Bare footsteps stopped as soon as the owner of those feet caught sight of him.

"What are you doing here, Sesshoumaru?" was the question asked.

The proud youkai looked up at the half-breed who looked so much like him but still were a complete reversed version of him. What they shared was the blood from their father and some of their features. Still... why could this half-breed make him feel?

"Is there something you want this Sesshoumaru, little brother?" he asked in his usual arrogant tone.

"Keh. Like you would do anything for me." InuYasha said insulted.

Sesshoumaru didn't speak or even look at InuYasha anymore, his golden eyes had returned to the scene of nature. The sun was about half settled and the day would soon be over, leaving room for the night. A relationship that was needed but hated and could never be broken. Just like them.

The Daiyoukai was unaware of the way he looked as he bathed in the fleeting colors from the sunset. His ears picked up the increased fast breathing from his half-brother. He was vaguely interested as InuYasha walked softly over to his side and knelt down. Sesshoumaru averted his eyes and looked with the same coldness and uninterested as always.

InuYasha leaned forward until their faces were inches away from each other. He paused for a moment before leaned fully forward and kissed the side of Sesshoumaru's mouth. The hanyou leaned in once again and kissed Sesshoumaru more fully on the lips. His tongue got out and licked Sesshoumaru's lower lip with what could be called affection and need.

"I'll kill you." Sesshoumaru said in a clear and very cold voice.

"No you won't." whispered InuYasha. "If only for tonight... hold me."

InuYasha started to undo Sesshoumaru's yukata and lower it over his shoulders. The slender shoulders that was reveled was caressed, nibbled and kissed on. InuYasha continued up over Sesshoumaru's neck and nibbled for a moment at his ears before going down again. Planting kisses all over the noble youkai's chest. The hanyou's hands touched every part of his body that they could find before he leaned back and started to undress himself. His fire rat robe landed on the ground and he didn't seem ashamed to show himself in front of his brother. He sat down on his heels and removed the remaining of Sesshoumaru's clothes. With slightly trembling hands InuYasha reached out toward his brother. A faint blush crept onto his face and InuYasha hesitated for a moment.

"Not going to continue?" asked Sesshoumaru.

InuYasha looked at him with anger burning in his eyes and then leaned forward and gave him a kiss. His tongue entered Sesshoumaru's mouth but lost immediately the battle of dominance. The fierceness behind the kiss was almost frightening but at the same time comforting and arousing. InuYasha moaned in delight as one of his hands was wrapped around Sesshoumaru's neck while his other one was slowly getting closer to his own butt.

He didn't know where this desire came from but he also knew that it would never happen again. One of Sesshoumaru's hands caught InuYasha's and stopped it before it reached its destination. He brought it up again and broke the kiss between them. InuYasha looked questioningly at him but was silenced from any questions when his big brother started to lick his fingers. The erotic image only helped to lighten the fire within even more in InuYasha.

When Sesshoumaru brought his little brothers hand down again InuYasha arched his back when he felt those wet fingers touch him. It didn't matter that it was his own fingers, he wasn't controlling them at all, he let Sesshoumaru take the lead and when he pushed one of InuYasha's fingers in, his ears picked up a low whining.

"Se-sesshoumaru." InuYasha whispered out in between gasps.

A second finger joined the first one and soon a third. InuYasha shuddered under his older brothers hands. All of a sudden Sesshoumaru let go and released InuYasha completely. The hanyou looked at him through pleasure filled eyes and for a moment he was confused why it all had stopped then he heard that cold voice that didn't seem to change no matter what situation he was in.

"If you wish to live you better leave now."

"Bastard." InuYasha hissed as his body was assaulted in a cold wind and he shivered. "I will have you crave my body when I'm finished with you."

The proud youkai smirked before watching as his little brother crawled over to him and straddled his hips. InuYasha took his brothers shaft into his hand before guiding him to his hidden hole. He rubbed it against him once and felt how it grew harder under his touch before letting just the head inside. He savored the feeling and even the sting of pain as more of the throbbing flesh was pushed in. It was slow, almost agonizing slow but finally his big brother was fully inside. InuYasha looked down at his brother and was angry to see there was no reaction from his brother.

As if trying to change that InuYasha began to move up and down. He soon began to moan as every of his senses were overloading and so were his anger.

"Dammit. Why are... you such... a insensitive bastard?" He gasped. "Don't... you feel... anything?"

"You must jest." Sesshoumaru said, "How can this Sesshoumaru feel anything with a dirty creature like you!" As if to prove his point, Sesshoumaru moved his hips upward and it took InuYasha by surprise. "But if you so wish for it."

All of a sudden Sesshoumaru jerked them over so he was lying on top and began to ram into his little brother. They were bathed in the final colors of the sun and in the sunset and midst of the pleasure they were ignorant of the world around them.

Just as InuYasha felt his climax exploding he also felt a piercing pain in his chest. He looked up at Sesshoumaru with wide eyes. "W-why? Brother?" he whispered before falling back on the ground... dead.

Sesshoumaru disentangled himself from the corpse and removed his sword who he had driven right through his brother.

"I told you I would kill you, ignorant fool." he got dressed and seethed his sword before leaving the site. In the dying light InuYasha's body changed shape to that of another youkai before it turned to dust, leaving nothing behind.

It was always like this. They always tried to seduce him, that was what he hated about Incubus'. They always thought they had some grip over him, how foolish. If he could make his dream come true they wouldn't be able to get so close to him. They appeared in his dream or when he was trying to relax. They had tried many different shapes but this had been the first time they had tried to seduce him while in the shape of his little brother. It had been close but he knew that it couldn't be his brother. His little brother hated him.

His little half brother was raised with human habits and beliefs for them to even get that close. Their foolish morals had been a constant factor in InuYasha's life so there was no way this dream could come true. When he had started to love InuYasha he had made sure the little pup had hated him from the bottom of his heart. Constant attacks and abusive words. For he couldn't have his little brother falling for him, if he did there would be no return.

If InuYasha ever showed just a fraction of love for him, his defenses would crumble. They would damn their lineage and condemn the future. For such a relationship would be misunderstood, fragile and fruitless in the end. Neither of them could carry a heir that the land needed. Neither of them could give up their current lives for each other. Both of them would be hurt in the long run. That was why it was better this way.

To protect him even if he never knew about it. To save them from the sorrow that would follow. To hide the dark desires and secrets that lives in their hearts.

How long had he loved the little half-breed anyway? 100 years? 150? He had lost count. All he knew was that this was a love that could never come true.

This was a secret he would protect his whole life. No one would ever know about these feelings he had. No one would ever come so close to his heart so they could replace InuYasha. It was his secret to keep and to protect. For as long as he lived he would let him live his own life. A life outside tradition and rules. A life he could choose self and one where he could fall in love freely.

It was time he returned to his castle and once and for all buried these feelings in the deepest cage of his heart. Even if he would never hold the real InuYasha in his arms he would at least have had a taste of it now.

And no one would ever know that he called out _**his**_ name at that moment of overwhelming pleasure before he killed the dream.

The End.


	2. Years of Regrets

A/N: Epilogue to "_Deepest Wish_".

Years of Regrets

By Monkan

"You're in the way."

Then he had been pushed away. Out of the way as the blast that would either injure him or even kill him was about to hit him. He had been pushed aside, something that had shocked him. There had to be a mistake, for there were no feelings of anything but hate between them. He hated him, he had his whole life. They may be half-brothers but there were nothing but hatred between them. Although he himself couldn't hate his brother enough to kill him he knew that wasn't the case for the other.

His older full-blooded brother, Sesshoumaru, held no feelings even close to care for him. He hated him so much he tried to kill him most times they meet.

Ever since the fight against Soun'ga it had left something keen to doubt in InuYasha's mind.

There had been no need to push him out of the way. Sesshoumaru had taken the blast all by himself, barely saving his life with Tensaiga's protective shield. The faint gasps of pain that left Sesshoumaru's lips that time haunted InuYasha. It wasn't he that had caused the pain, he hadn't even expected to be pushed aside that time.

Why the hell had he done that?

They hated each other, didn't they?

He had never loved or cared for him so why had he pushed him away?

It made no sense. Sesshoumaru had no reason to protect him.

A few weeks had passed since the battle and all their wounds were healed. The experience had been enough to make him doubt things between them. InuYasha had grown up hating his brother. Dirty half-breed, stain to the blood, hanyou. The insults went on so much that he couldn't remember every one of them. It hadn't hurt anymore when he was called that and he was all right with his brother hating him, blaming him for their fathers death.

But... why had Sesshoumaru cared enough for him to push him out of danger?

InuYasha walked alone through the woods, Kagome had gone home to her time for school and wouldn't be back for a few days. Miroku and Sango was helping out at the old-hags village. Shippo had been playing around. It all left InuYasha all alone.

Alone to think about it all. He still couldn't understand why Sesshoumaru had acted like that. The more he thought about it the more confused he got.

He walked on without really looking where he went. When he suddenly picked up a strange sound his dog ears twitched and he looked up. He had walked rather deeply into the forest and cursed himself for being careless. He was about to turn around when the same sound came again. He turned first as if to ignore it but then suddenly changed his mind.

It came from behind a few bushes and he peeked through the leaves to see what it was about.

To his embarrassment and dread he came face with a mating youkai couple. Their mating had gone rather far and the female was groaning under her male partner. InuYasha flushed deep red as he stared wide eyed at the scene. He had no idea what kind of youkai they were but he did know that he had to get out of there right away. No one, no matter who they were, was treated kindly if they interrupted a mating.

InuYasha turned to leave when suddenly a gasp left the males mouth and for one brief moment InuYasha stopped his steps before running as fast and as quietly away from the scene. His face was still red and he cursed himself for almost doing something stupid. He had forgotten that mating season was just around the corner, but since he was a hanyou with human blood flowing through his veins he wasn't affected by it like a full blooded youkai. Still, it wasn't enough to let him lose his life just for being at the wrong place at the totally wrong time.

What's more, for a brief moment, barely a second long moment, his mind had conjured up an image in his head. An image that now wouldn't leave him alone. He felt flushed as the image got more and more vivid in his mind, long white hair flowing down around them, long slender finger with claws touching him, a strong lean body against his. His body responded to the fantasy in many ways. But what made him both nervous and fearful was that, in that one moment he had seen himself and Sesshoumaru in the same intimate position. Him being submissive under his older brother and Sesshoumaru being on top and guiding them toward completion.

InuYasha shook his head to get rid of the image. It was sick and wrong. They were blood related and both of them were males. Such a relationship went against everything. Everything that nature called to made it wrong. He felt sick from the thought but... as hesitantly as he would admit it, the thought aroused him at the same time.

His memory even started to play tricks on him, the faint gasps of breath he had heard not so long ago, it was turning into a gasp of pleasure.

InuYasha stopped abruptly and banged his head into the trunk of the nearest tree. The bark cut his head and a thin stream of blood flowed down his head. The metallic smell from it assaulted his senses.

This was hanyou blood, nothing like Sesshoumaru's pure blood. This human stained blood wasn't worthy of being compared to the blood that flowed through the Daiyoukai's veins. The sweet and fresh smell of Sesshoumaru's blood was completely different from his. He had smelled it at that time too. Sesshoumaru's blood had been spilled too that day against Soun'ga, not as much as his own but still there had been blood spilled. He could still remember it, even the feel of it as some drops stained him.

Back then it had been only blood that he wanted to wash away but now it was like an aphrodisiac. His own blood felt like it was on fire, just from the memory of Sesshoumaru's blood.

No, no, no, no, this couldn't be happening. He didn't desire his brother that way. The thought was dishonorable and disgusting. The idea of such an act was outrageous and sick.

There were nothing between them. No care or love. Only hate and maybe a slight feeling of brotherly connection from InuYasha's side but nothing else. Sesshoumaru wasn't capable of such feelings, never have and never will. If the thought made him feel this sick how disgusted wouldn't Sesshoumaru get?

By the way, he had Kagome. He loved her. He had a life with her. He could start over and become human for her sake. He would do anything for her. She cared for him as well, even loved him. So there was no need for him to get so worked up over something like this. Since he already had a woman at his side that he had chosen there was no need to give his disturbing thoughts any more attention.

But the thought wouldn't leave him.

-o-o-o-

Time went by and months passed them by. InuYasha was no longer the mutt he once were. He was beginning to change into a noble man that his youkai blood deemed worthy. He noticed that others attention toward him changed too. His friends remained the same toward him but those they meet backed away an extra step. Not only were he a hanyou but now they could clearly see his youkai origin. His puppet ears remained and so did his childish claws, compared to other youkais' claws his never grew past a certain point and that frustrated him slightly, but they were still just as deadly. His hair had grown to all of a sudden and he had suffer from Kagome's and Sango's desire to braid it all the time. His youki grew and he had Miroku to help him hide it.

But that wasn't the only thing that had changed.

His fleeting memory of his mind playing a dirty trick on him and showing him an image of him and Sesshoumaru mating had escalated into something that he almost couldn't control anymore. What had once been a simple image had turned into a full fledged dream that was so vivid that he could feel the sweat soaking them, feel Sesshoumaru's skin against his, taste every kiss they shared, and what was worst... he could feel the pleasure that their mating created. His backside would sometimes throb suggestively after he woke up in Kagome's arm's.

Always he was the submissive one and always did he beg for more. From time to time their stance changed and each time InuYasha's desire flamed up to new heights.

But it was all wrong.

They were still siblings and the thought made him ill and he felt disgusted afterward. He would go clean himself in the river just to get the lingering sensation out of his skin. His friends had teased him for being a clean freak after he matured. They didn't see how he suffered. How he was tortured by his dreams. He also knew that the dreams would never become true for Sesshoumaru didn't love OR even care for him. He wouldn't even lay his hands on him even if they were the last living beings.

It was years before InuYasha even saw Sesshoumaru again and it was from afar. By that time Kagome had returned to her time, Naraku defeated and the shikon jewel shards collected and after that Kagome never returned. InuYasha couldn't even get to her time through the well and they concluded that there was no chance for Kagome to ever return. Miroku and Sango settled down with Kirara. Shippo stayed with them and InuYasha came by from time to time.

It was then one day that InuYasha saw his older brother. It only lasted for a moment, a single glance over the fields that connected with each other and then it was gone but InuYasha couldn't move from that spot for he felt like his body was glued to it with his life.

He had always thought that Sesshoumaru had been handsome, even beautiful for a guy but what he saw that time went against everything he remembered.

His brother was still beautiful and refinement flowed of him like the waves of the sea, but there were something else. A glint in his eyes that caught in the light. Sesshoumaru left only moments later without a glance back.

The next time InuYasha met Sesshoumaru was also by chance and about six years later. He found Sesshoumaru in one of the more peaceful areas of the woods, seemingly resting. InuYasha stood in front of him and Sesshoumaru didn't move. His heart twitched as he knelt down. He gently touched Sesshoumaru's face. The touch of the skin covering the cheek made InuYasha's finger tips burn with heat.

His dreams shot through his head, his body responding to them and shame flowed through his blood.

InuYasha didn't flinch when Sesshoumaru opened his eyes slowly and glared through half lidded eyes, the same eyes that he had. He honestly expected his older brother to cut of his arm for touching him but to his biggest surprise it remained attached to his body.

What next happened shocked InuYasha, the soft rustle of leaves behind them drew this attention and out from the bushes beside them popped a little head out. The child then threw himself at Sesshoumaru laughing, making InuYasha to flinch back his hand. The pup looked up at him when he realized he didn't know the other demon and it pierced InuYasha like a sword through his heart. There were no doubt that this little pup was his brothers child. The similarities between them were almost scary. A few things were different but there was no question. Sesshoumaru had a child and heir.

Sesshoumaru's arm came up and rested around the child's body, the tender touch shock InuYasha to the core. Never had he thought his brother could act tenderly in any way of affection.

The hanyou took a step back, opened his mouth but nothing came out. He turned and ran from the scene, unable to look any longer.

His heart felt like it was in a million pieces. The hurt in his chest grew stronger with every breath until he thought he would suffocate. He leaped among the trees, running for as long as his stamina could handle. Which were not as long as he normally did 'cause his stamina was being eaten up faster because of his distress.

When he finally came to a stop he was panting very hard. The air around him were thin and he looked around. He had no idea why he ran here but he knew this place all to well.

It was here it had all started. It was here that he had seen his older brother for the first time. He had not been older than that child was and the impression Sesshoumaru had given him that day had formed their lives. Even though he and that kid shared some blood it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to make his brother love him. It would never be enough. Sesshoumaru's heir was pure blood, from what he had smelled, and he was forever to be a hanyou. No matter how dominant his demon blood would get there would always be human blood flowing through his veins. He would forever be the half-breed of their family. He would never be loved. He would never receive such tenderness from Sesshoumaru.

Tears fell down his face but he could care less. They were heavy from his loneliness and filled with his pain.

The memories of his dreams seemed only as a taunt toward him. There would be nothing between them. Sesshoumaru had a child and that meant he had a mate and to that mate he would be loyal until he died. There were no place for him in his brothers life. No home. No family. No love.

That only made it all harder cause he knew now how much he loved Sesshoumaru. Even though he had tried for years to deny it and forget his feelings, his love for his brother was nothing but sinful.

For years he had tried to deny his growing feelings but it was now that he saw the truth that those years turned into years of regrets.

All he could do was cry for what he had lost that he had never truly had.

He cried for something that he would never have.

Tears as heavy as rocks fell as he could no longer deny it.

He loved his brother.

He always had and always would.

But there were no future for them.

Not now, not ever.

All his desires and love were meant to be as fleeting and painful as the years to come.

Years that he would surely regret.

The End.


	3. Taking the Shame to the Grave

A/N: Epilogue to "_Years of Regrets_".

Taking The Shame To The Grave

by Monkan

His footsteps carried him down the path of the dark hall. Through the cracks in the shoji-doors he could see humans looking at him. The stench of the place made his skin crawl and he resisted the urge to wrinkle his nose in disgust. The place reeked of sex and rot. If it weren't for the important fact of why he was there he wouldn't had taken a single step inside this place.

He stopped outside the door and looked at it. It looked just like any other door in this place, but what hide behind them was far more precious than anything. His hand reached up, worn from the long years of life but still elegant. He pushed the door open and was assaulted by the more intense stench that resided inside the room. He had to put up a hand to shield his sensitive nose from it. How anyone could live inside this odour was beyond him but then again humans didn't have the same sense of smell as demons did.

His eyes adjusted to the darkness in the room right away, only a little oil lamp gave light in the otherwise cut of room. There were no windows and nothing that really connected to the outside world. To his nose and eyes, even the dust had become a nightmare. Not long did it take before his eyes caught the single bed in the room and its owner.

He crossed the room without making any sound and looked down on InuYasha. This being before him was nothing like the hanyou in his memories. Gone were the wild, clean hair that now was dirty, clumpy and mattered to his head. Gone were the healthy tone of his skin and left were only a sickly grey, the skin was even shallow on his face and the filthy yukata he wore did nothing to hide just how thin InuYasha.

He could had stood there for a long time, thinking about all the changes in his little brother and how much had changed from many many years ago but now wasn't the time for it. Sesshoumaru bend down and gently picked up his little brother into his arms. The creature in his arms hardly weighted anything at all any more. Where once he had face a worthy opponent in his little brother nothing was left in him.

Without glancing back he took InuYasha from the room, he passed the owner of the whore house whose head laid separated from his body. For once in his life, Sesshoumaru felt like spitting on the humans corpse but refrained from doing so.

When he came outside InuYasha actually whimpered as the light assaulted his eyes. He tried to turn away from it and the pain soaring through his mind.

Sesshoumaru was aware of this but just as soon as he came outside he stood face to face with his son. His son looked down at the hanyou in his father's arms. Little did he remember his uncle other than that one time he had seen him with his father. But now he grieved for this creature wasn't like the one in his memories.

They left the village and the scared humans. He promised himself that he would take care of InuYasha for the rest of his life. Or what was left of it.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Sesshoumaru sat now beside InuYasha and cared for him. He feed him, cleaned him, stayed with him. He refused to sleep, others may say what they wanted but he refused to turn his back on his only brother now that he needed him the most. But InuYasha still wasn't aware of anything around him.

He had no idea how InuYasha came to be in that human whore house. Or why he hadn't heard of it until now. It was apparent that InuYasha had been there far longer than just a few days. From the diseases that racked his body, to the old scars, and to other signs he didn't want to think of. He blamed himself. He should had kept an eye on InuYasha after his human friends died. He should had taken him in, send someone after him... something. But instead of that he had gone on as normal, trying in his own way to protect InuYasha. From himself. And it had almost killed InuYasha.

All his life he had tried his best to keep InuYasha safe from the shame that he carried with him.

No matter how much he distanced himself from InuYasha or how much he tried to fight it, his love for his own blood brother grew stronger every time he saw him. Even after he chose a female mate, even after his son was born and grew up his love for InuYasha was the greatest love he had ever felt. His mate had realized it and being the proud youkai she was she had said and done nothing. A problem that was never spoken of and never known by others was best kept untouched. She didn't want to pull dishonour over her new family.

Sesshoumaru buried his face in his hands. How could he had been so stupid. What he had thought done for the best had driven InuYasha to end up like this. A broken, filthy, abused whore.

He had seen it. He had seen the left behind traces of what had happened to his InuYasha. The stench of other humans was deeply embedded in his skin, it wouldn't disappear.

If only he could take away the pain, if only InuYasha would wake up. Then he could ask for forgiveness.

-o-o-o-o-

He entered the room without a sound. He saw his father sitting beside his little brother unmoving and uncaring of what happened around them. His eyes was staring of some place far away and not even when he spoke up could he get his fathers attention.

He had know that there were something different between his father and uncle but until now he had never known what. It had come to him when he came to tell the news to his father that he had found InuYasha. The look in his fathers eyes and his lack of response was the beginning but now he was sure.

His father had been the perfect youkai, his cruelty, his leadership, how he tolerated no objections or fiends. He was the most perfect youkai ever to have lived. His beauty and deadliness, nothing was beyond him but there had always been a loneliness that no one could fill. A piece of his heart that was sealed away but now he knew.

At first he had been confused, then angry that someone else that even hadn't been a part of their lives was more loved than them. Then it had changed to pity and last understanding.

It hadn't made it any lighter to know that your own father loved another more than you, much less a hanyou but they hadn't met in many years and he couldn't really blame them now.

They had, for he was sure that InuYasha had once too, never been able to love each other freely. Their whole life they had been chained by others, responsibility and guilt, honour and dishonour. Two worlds that should never touch each other. And now when he saw his father he felt sorrow for them.

He placed his hand on his fathers shoulder and send him a silent prayer. Then he left.

For he felt that they needed what little time they had left.

He was sure his father had known ever since he picked up InuYasha that the hanyou was dying.

-o-o-o-o-

Years have went by and I've watched this whole time my father and uncle. Ever since my uncle, InuYasha woke up he has improved both in body and spirit but the disease is still in his body and were just waiting to claim him. My father have always been next to him and watched over him. It took many months, years in fact, until InuYasha even opened his eyes. It took another year until he was speaking again, although it was raspy and brokenly. I heard his voice for the first time, I still wonder what it would sound like before everything.

Ever since I reached adulthood I've taken over the ruling of our realm. Leaving father to care for his little brother. He hardly cares what happens to his land, all he can think about is his guilt and... most likely, the love he feels in his heart. Something they have never spoken of.

I've seen them in the garden. Father carried InuYasha outside to share the day with him. I watched them as my uncle laid in my fathers arms, his hand reaching out and slowly how the blossom falls into his hand. They both looks so relaxed and happy that I can't interrupt them. In their world, only they exist. The light that falls over them seems to give its blessing and telling my uncle to get well soon.

They don't say anything to each other of what they were feeling, they just enjoyed the closeness of each other. Even though they could probably feel the tension of attraction between them they never acted out on it. Was it out of kindness for my mother? Or some other reason? I will probably never know. My mother have also seen them, but being the youkai she is she bears this shame. I know she wishes sometimes that InuYasha were dead but I've seen the face she makes when she witness my fathers face when he's with InuYasha. I know she never hates them. I always loved her for that strength in her.

My uncle's time in this world are coming to an end. I can see it as well as smell it. And so can my father. I don't know how much longer he can hold on. He's in pain and his body is racked with the sickness. As time have went by Father have watched his little brother falling further and further away from him. The only thing that have kept him alive this long was only the strong blood of their father, my grandfather. The blood that connects them and condemn them. I don't think that my father would ever admit this because of its selfishness but I'm sure he was glad for their blood running in InuYasha, it kept him alive a little longer so that he could hold him at least one more time in his arms. Nothing else mattered as long as he had InuYasha.

I could never compare up to that.

There's nothing left we can do, InuYasha will soon meet his end and all I can do is hope he departs peacefully.

-o-o-o-o-

The flicker of the light illumined the room, the cold of the night was kept out and didn't affect the deathly pale hanyou in the bed. He rested his head in the lap of Sesshoumaru. The slender fingers stroked the soft hair on his head. In one corner of the room stood two youkais. One, an older female and the other a young male. They didn't say anything or moved as time went on its way.

Sesshoumaru sat with his eyes half closed as he listened to the faltering heartbeat of the hanyou in his arms. Just being made him forget everything, the shadows that played over them was ignored as he took in ever line of InuYasha's face. When his instincts suddenly flared up he gently reached out and placed his hands on InuYasha's chest, one sprawled out over the weak heart while the other one was placed over the hand that rested there.

InuYasha opened his eyes and looked up at Sesshoumaru's face. He gave a weak smile before; "Don't cry for me."

And so his heart ceased it's weak beating and stopped.

Sesshoumaru didn't move, he stared down with clear eyes. His mind perfectly clear and his heart unclouded. He was fully aware of the youkai who stepped forward. He looked up at his son and he felt no doubt in his heart. He felt no regret and no anger. He could finally rest.

"I love you." he said to his son and mate whom had watched their last moment together. He then leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes.

"But not enough to keep you here with us." said Sesshoumaru's mate as she leaned forward and placed a kiss first on her mates cheek and then one on InuYasha's forehead. "I hope you both get a second chance to tell each other the truth."

She stood up and walked with her arm around her son's shoulder, "Come, my son. Let the dead have a moment of peace."

The young ruler of the western land looked over his shoulder at his dead father and uncle, and he couldn't help but think that they looked truly happy.

"They never said anything." he whispered, "Not even at the end."

"I know." the female youkai whispered back. "I think they decided a long time ago. To break it at the end would make everything, even their lives, meaningless. So the reason why they didn't say they loved each other was to take their shame to the grave."

-o-o-o-o-

"Are you coming or not?" shouted a voice through the house. "I'm leaving without you."

There were a loud bump and a curse before a person came rushing down the stairs. "I'm ready. I'm ready." he said as he braided the last of his long white hair and secured it. His school bag was thrown over his arm and his school uniform wasn't buttoned all the way up.

He gave the other a big toothy smile as the other glared at him. "How many times do I have to tell you to get up earlier so we don't have to rush?"

"And miss thirty minutes of sleep?" the youngster looked shocked. "No way in hell. Besides..." he then purred as he leaned forward until he almost leaned against the other. "You made sure last night that I was to tired to get up early today."

The other placed an arm around the teenagers waist and smirked. "I didn't hear you complain, little brother. In fact, you were rather demanding last night, remember? Four times!"

The other had enough time to feel flushed before he pushed away from the other and headed for the door. But when he felt rather than saw the all-to-satisfied-smile he felt slightly irked and decided on a moment.

He turned around and before the other knew it his arms fell around his neck and his body pressed against his. He rubbed himself slightly against the older one before he whispered into his ear, sending shivers down his spine. "And do you know WHY I am so demanding?" he ended it with a lick over the lobe, earning a gasp.

The next moment he let go and ran to the door, "It's because I LOVE YOU!" he screamed back over his shoulder as he ran out and to school.

"Don't you have any shame about us, InuYasha?" he was asked as the other caught up with him easily.

InuYasha didn't even take a moment to think about it as he laughed at his older brother, "None at all."

The End!


End file.
